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| hello again, everyone! |
| 07.03.04 (8:56 am) [edit] |
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I know I haven't added any entries....my net was being a shmuck. Nothing really is happening to me so.......whatever. I might go to Meijers today....
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| my net was off for 2 days^_^;; |
| 06.26.04 (8:12 am) [edit] |
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I amused myself by reading my new book: "Anna Karenina" by Leo Tolstoy and listening to 'In Utero',my new Nirvana cd......it's a great book and cd. I've been wanting to get a Nrvana one for a long time.
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| my net was off for 2 days^_^;; |
| 06.26.04 (8:11 am) [edit] |
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I amused myself by reading my new book: "Anna Karenina" by Leo Tolstoy and listening to 'In Utero',my new Nirvana cd......it's a great book and cd. I've been wanting to get a Nrvana one for a long time.
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| I'm scaring myself again...... |
| 06.21.04 (12:56 pm) [edit] |
I just love reading classic urban legends and horror storeies.....the rush is exciting and scary.....no wonder I'm afraid of mirrors and porclin(sp?)dolls*shudder s*Watching or reading something morbid and frightning is fun......hell, I'm reading urban legends/classoc ghost stories right now and they're great! Anyone have any ghost stories to share?.....That'd be awesome if anyone here had any and I'll give a great site for it: [url=]http://www.castleofspirits.co...[/url]
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Great site! Check it out....
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| konichiwa*curses* |
| 06.19.04 (2:37 pm) [edit] |
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My net has been going on and off.....it annoys me. How am I supposed to keep adding fanlists when the net suddenly TURNS OFF?! Well....every time the net turns off I continue to read "Strangers" by Dean Koontz....I've never finished reading it. Something else has been happening to me too.......when I listen to certain songs, I sometimes have a powerful epiphany. It's wordless yet....I don't know how to put it, breath-taking. I litarally cannot even breathe when this happens. And it only lasts to a sec and sometimes a minute. It blows me away. This may seem crazy to you and me(I'm not religious)but I feel like I'm a messenger....I don't know what kind though. I've been haveing these feeling ever since the beginning of this month.....it scares the hell outta me! Why me of all people? Starngely, the songs that are playing when I have these epiphanies(sp?) are from 'Freddy vs. Jason'.....ever since I listened to that, those happen. :oops: Don't call me insane from these feeling cause I'm sane even though I may not be normal. I just had to get that out of my system. Comments religious or non-religious are welcome. I personally think this has nothing to do with God, besides, I'm still searching for my place in religion.....that's all for now....
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| *grumbles and mutters* |
| 06.10.04 (9:30 am) [edit] |
My dad blocked all communications to my boyfriend.....the only way to talk to anyone is on Gaia Online. He said he'd give me a chance yet, he took away any way to talk to Ken and that es me off, majorly. I'm 18 now and he thinks he's 'protecting' me but that's a load of bull and hypocritical. I'm the scapegoat, black sheep and many other things. I don't deserve to get part of my net being taken away because I'm actully, ironically responsible on it. I'm an now so he should stop treating me like a poor defenseless animal when I know I'm not one. I being the middle child, I'm always to blame and get treated unfairly. I have low self esteem and depression and they don't do anything to help, they make it worse. This isn't a family, this is pure hell. No one trusts me and I find no reason to trust them. I stand up for myself, fight back but it's really not worth it because they don't listen to me, only the others. I'm an invisible person in my own house. Pardon me if that sounds like I'm complaining but I have to get this out before I explode. People underestimate my intelligence because I act childish and immature. That's not so. I'm not saying I shoud get everything I want, I just do want to be ignored and just wish I wasn't the scapegoat. People act so condescending to me. Almost everyone does. I think the only good thing in my life, online or not, is my boyfriend. That may sound absurd but it's true. I fall in love easily and can be naive but I'm definitely not stupid. I've been through hell and back. I don't need this sh** from my own family. I thought when I was a kid, family was great to have. Now, I feel no need for them. All they do is lie and blame me for everything, implied or not. I hope this all ends so I can get out of here without any regrets. I thought the last day of school would be great but, then I found out my dad blocked and aim. That really made me mad and I still am as I'm typing this. I just wish there was someone I could trust but I see no one to confide in. I finally see the truth in the web of lies. If on;y the others weren't so deluded, that might've helped.
--Trinity Chandler--
--Rant/Monologue dept--
--Give some feedback!--
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| untitled*pending name: If Only* |
| 06.09.04 (10:39 am) [edit] |
I wish people who stop underestimating me
I know what I'm doing
Lonliness has taught me many things
Including who to watch for
A paranoid family
Never giving me any freedom
Choking me with what they think is 'right'
I'm not an idiot
I need to show them so they can believe me
Because no one else does
It's my life
Let me risk it
It was never yours
If only you know what I know
Then you would believe me
But you are a brick wall
Refusing to hear my words
If only you knew......
Maybe if you be empathetic instead of
Wanting to control me
Then maybe we'll ge somewhere
My words keep falling to deaf ears
All I need is some inspiration
I think I already have some
If only.....
I may be a fool
But at least I'm a smart one
You think I
Don't know the 'real world'
So you 'protect' me from it
Causing more problems then
Solutions
Stop blindfolding me with your
over protection
Give me some freedom
and a say
and that just might be the
answer to this problem
I will stand for myself
because no one else will
they think me weak and
immature
but
looks are deceiving
My anger driven away by
sheer determination
to show them
I can do it
Yes
I know I can
I won't laugh or taunt when
it happens
they will finally believe
I am older than I appear
If only.......
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| untitled*pending name: If Only* |
| 06.09.04 (10:20 am) [edit] |
I wish people who stop underestimating me
I know what I'm doing
Lonliness has taught me many things
Including who to watch for
A paranoid family
Never giving me any freedom
Choking me with what they think is 'right'
I'm not an idiot
I need to show them so they can believe me
Because no one else does
It's my life
Let me risk it
It was never yours
If only you know what I know
Then you would believe me
But you are a brick wall
Refusing to hear my words
If only you knew......
Maybe if you be empathetic instead of
Wanting to control me
Then maybe we'll ge somewhere
My words keep falling to deaf ears
All I need is some inspiration
I think I already have some
If only.....
I may be a fool
But at least I'm a smart one
You think I
Don't know the 'real world'
So you 'protect' me from it
Causing more problems then
Solutions
Stop blindfolding me with your
over protection
Give me some freedom
and a say
and that just might be the
answer to this problem
I will stand for myself
because no one else will
they think me weak and
immature
but
looks are deceiving
My anger driven away by
sheer determination
to show them
I can do it
Yes
I know I can
I won't laugh or taunt when
it happens
they will finally believe
I am older than I appear
If only.......
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| I'm baaack...... |
| 06.09.04 (4:12 am) [edit] |
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I just had a spot of fun torturing an earwig......it looked like it was pooping or having a baby*ewwww!*it's still trying to get up too. I can't wait to get home today.....I'll be calling my boyfriend*swoon*hopefully , I'll get over my fear of calling people on the phone......and tomarrow's the last day if school for me too....*mutters*stupid exams......oh well, might as make the best of it. And I saw a zambonie in the 'mess hall' as I call it*giggles like a dumbass*I can't wait to get home....^-^
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| hello again! |
| 06.08.04 (12:49 pm) [edit] |
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Well, let's see what's happened the past couple days......I got a wonderful boyfriend, taking my stupid exams, and did some other random sh**........that's all for now....and Kenneth*my 'delicious jewel'*love you, always! ^_^I'm in a sappy-happy-angsty mood people!
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| this is cool.....kinda... |
| 06.06.04 (11:11 am) [edit] |
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I got an issue of Shonen Jump today.....it's awesome. I've only heard of Naruto, now I can read a bit of it^_^I got some M&M's too.....I love those.....tomarrow's my last Monday of the school year*cheers*hopefully I'll get a good job this summer.....
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| I'm back, bitches!*laughs* |
| 06.04.04 (6:13 am) [edit] |
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Hmmm........last hour I got some breakfast: Canadian bacon. scrambled eggs, domunts, chocolate chip pancakes and orange juice. It was delicious......*ramble, ramble*I'm going to a party after school too.......I can't wait for school to end*sighs**plays SNL's Celebrity Jeopardy*I love the old SNL......"Do Not Taunt Happy Fun Ball", "I need nore cowbell!", "You're going to live in a van......DOWN BY THE RIVER!!"....that's all I can think of right now.....
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| *listens to some REM* |
| 06.03.04 (11:38 am) [edit] |
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Looks like I'm calming down from my hyperness......I'm going to be watching some TV after this to see if anything good is on.....hopefully there is.....
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| I'm in school again.... |
| 06.03.04 (5:56 am) [edit] |
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I came to say hello........I'm just chilling right now. i have to go to Aerobics next......that sucks, I don't want to go outside today-_-Hopefully I can get another episode of "The Fall From Grace". The seroes is actually going well, compared to my other fanfics*smiles*I'm happy about that.....I finally can write slash!
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| *sighs*I'm feeling better now that I vented myself^_^ |
| 06.02.04 (3:31 pm) [edit] |
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So you're back......what could you be doing here? I'm just sitting thinking of what to do next......post on Gaia Online or read a MSTing?....hmm......who knows.....I guess I'll just type until my wrists hurt*smiles cynically*my favorite part of the school building is being gutted as I sit here.....I loved the library. Now, it doesn't have the atmosphere it used to.....*sighs*I miss the old days at Oxford High.....when they didn't tear the school for the middle schoolers*smirks*I loved last year.....sorry, I'm going off topic. That reminds me(will I ever shut up?!)what about Hot Topic? That store used to cool before it sold out.....it actually had good anime stuff.....*watches some Invader ZIM to get her mind off it*
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| whoo.....I'm in a sorta bitchy mood today! |
| 06.02.04 (12:58 pm) [edit] |
My exams are next week.....the only good thing about it is I can bring my CD player and my REM cd...I love that one....I'm also in a depressed and angsty mood.....I think I'll write a poem....
Wait....this'll take a sec....
As I look into the amber sky
I wonder if I really should be here
There's no one to talk to in this prison
Of loneliness
I think of the
Memories I'll never have
A scapegoat, wanderer, rogue
I'm exiled from the living societies
Silent tears fall and
Not one sound is heard
Love is an illusion to me
Never to be found
Family full of deceptions
Life not worth living
But trudging through it
With a steel heart
Wondering when this will end
No friends to confide in
They just betrayed me
There is no ray of hope
Only despair
Everything going so fast
Wondering
Dreaming of a way out
The brick confines
Of society
Blocking me from
Being able to meet companions
I'm weird and different from them
Depression digs deeper
Into my hollow soul
Nothing seems real
Yet everything
Is a mirage
The pain unbearable
The darkness comforting
Knowing no one can see me
The slow glint of a knife
Paradise will never be reached
I'm in my own hell
No motivation
I'm getting numb
The feeling theraputic
I fall into an abyss
Neverending, nevermore
Sorry, I'm really depressed right now....I think I need to leave this place.....at least until I can get a hold of myself....and I'm not joking when I say I'm sad....I'm lonely....but enough of that....I don't want your pity....I don't need it, I myself enough....
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| konichiwa!*waves at you* |
| 06.02.04 (5:58 am) [edit] |
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I'm at school right now.....*mutters*not that I don't like it, I hate the teachers....*punches some people*bye...
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| let's talk dirty.....*grins* |
| 06.01.04 (4:10 pm) [edit] |
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I'm in a pervy mood.....now it's time to rant on about my dirty little secrets.....I love yaoi.....yaoi that is.....I love gay guys.......Mike & Chester of LP.....*drools*I love fics with angst and drama with romance mixed into it....I'm not just perverted but a hopeless romantic....kinds contradicts itself, doesn't it?......*smirks*I'm enjoying myself.....not in THAT way.....yet^_~*fantasizes about Mike/Chester in the shower, doggy style*I'm such an ecchi....*sighs*I just can't live with that.....so......I'll bring in M/C!*pulls them out of hammerspace and forces them to make out*That's all for now......*M/C get really and do the wild thing*
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| whoooo, another entry from a deranged mind! |
| 06.01.04 (3:21 pm) [edit] |
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Soooo........what's the story, Morning Glory?.....I can vote now*grumbles*I'm also getting a job this summer.....I need the cash....and it's NOT what you're thinking, ecchi boys!*coughs*sorry, went off a tangent there....I can't wait for the next installation of my fanfic.....maybe I shouldn't post it here*shrugs*oh well, I will anyway*smirks*this will go on fanfic sites when I'm ready to put it on there.....other than that, this is my last full, er, half week*no Monday*of school.....next week: EXAMS*curses*it's gonna suck.....I think I'll do good on my American Lit one....Psychology will be harder though.....*snickers*Freud was funny.....that's all for my ranting right now......byebye!*does a chibi dance for you*
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| the second ep of "The Fall From Grace"*with added notes, for the readers* |
| 06.01.04 (2:35 pm) [edit] |
A/N: Well, into the fray of fanfics it seems......I'm getting more graphic on this one, so be warned.....and be open-minded as well.....
Trinity: So....you want more? Ok....here's a recap of the last ep-Mike tells Chester what Cone did to him*it's really bad, he violated him*and Cone & Chester end up fighting, with no winner.....what will happen next?
NOTE-This is rated R, for strong sensual*had to censor, dammit!* content between males
DISCLAIMER-*sorry, forgot to put this on the 1st one*Ozzy owns Crazy Train, not me....I don't own LP or Sum 41 either!
*cue theme*
Crazy Train
All aboard
Crazy, but that's how it goes
Millions of people living as foes
Maybe it's not too late
To learn how to love, and forget how to
Mental wounds not healing
Life's a bitter shame
I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train
I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train
Let's go
I've listened to preachers, I've listened to fools
I've watched all the dropouts who make their own rules
One person conditioned to rule and control
The media sells it and you live the role
Mental wounds still screaming
Driving me insane
I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train
I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train
I know that things are going wrong for me
You've gotta listen to my words, yeah
Heirs of a cold war, that's what we've become
Inheriting troubles, I'm mentally numb
Crazy, I just cannot bear
I'm living with something that just isn't fair
Mental wounds not healing
Who and what's to blame
I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train
I'm goin' off the rails on a crazy train
*end theme*
(The scene opens up to Mike & Chester, discussing last weeks event-you know what it is-)
Mike:*shudders*What would make him do that?....
Chester:*smiles cynically*Who knows?....
*Chester mentally makes a note to hurt Cone-badly*
Mike:*sighs*Now that you know I'm not normal, do you still love me?....
*Chester moves closer and kisses him*
Chester:*smirks*What makes you think I care that you're normal or not?
*Mike shrugs*
*Cone enters and sees them acting cuddly and makes a disgusted face*
Cone:*grins evilly at Chester*Sooo.....are you going to hurt me, Chazzy boy?
*Chester glares*
*Cone then smirks and walks closer to them......with a wide grin*
*Chester gets up and faces him....he's a tad shorter than Cone*
Cone:*taunts*Little sissy boy....I know you can't do it.....you're too merciful...*snickers*
*Chester bitchslaps him, making Cone flinch in mock pain*
Chester:*mutters*You're lucky I have mercy....
*Cone then, without any warning, kicks him HARD between the legs*
Mike:*shocked*WTF?!
*Mike lunges at Cone, anger and fury in his eyes*
*Chester is lying prone on the ground, silent tears rolling down*
Mike:*hisses*You'll pay for what you did.....
Cone:*taunting*Yeah, right...
*Mike tackles him roughly to the ground and pummels him*
*Mike then notices Chester and is distracted for a for a nanosecond, costing him much pain in the end-no pun intended-*
Chester:*looks back at the struggling Mike*
Mike:*softly*Get some rope, need something long...
*Chester manages to get up and he limps out*
Mike:*PO'd*You think you can do that again?...
Cone:*smug*Oooh.....but I LOVE ropes....long ones...*grins*
*Mike smacks him hard, hurting Cone's jaw*
*Chester returns with nylon rope at looks at Mike again*
Mike:*pushs away from Cone*Actually, let's leave him here to play with himself...
*Cone giggles maniacally*
*Chester smiles painfully, then takes Mike's hand and they walk into their room*
Mike:*smiles back*I have something for you.....
*Chester just blinks in suprise*
*Mike searches through his stuff for the gift*
*Chester is currently confused*
*Mike finds it and sits next to Chester*
Mike:*hands him a small box*Here....
*Chester pretends to be dumb, then opens it-guess what it is, viewers!*
Chester:*happily suprised-it's a ring, a diamond one*For me?....
Mike:*happy as well, he's been wanting to do this for a long time*Will you marry me?
*Mike is hopeful, waiting for the answer*
Chester:*slips the ring on*Yes.....why wouldn't I?...*he then wraps his arms around Mike's neck and kisses him again, more this time*
*Mike pushes him against the bed, while exploring him hungrily*
*Chester complies while removing Mike's clothes in the process*
*they then DON'T need the lube.....-joking-*
*Mike has already taken care of Chester's clothes....he kisses his neck, shoulder, arms*
*Chester is waiting in anticipation, for the big finish*
*when Mike reaches his inner thighs, he starts to moan longingly, while he gets an erection*
*Mike then takes him into his mouth, sucking fast and hard*
*Chester screams and grabs Mike's head, making him take more into his mouth*
*Chester cums, a lot. With plenty of screaming Mike's name*
*Mike reluctantly removes his mouth and swallows*
Mike:*grins*I liked that....
Chester:*grins back*It felt Downy soft!
*Mike just rolls his eyes*
*they put their clothes back on....even though they didn't want to...*
Chester:*in a uber-kawaii voice*I looove you, Mike.
Mike:*gives him a little kiss*Love you too, Chester.
*they cuddle like a true bishonen couple*
*Steve enters and smells....then he grins wide and looks at Mike and Chester*
Steve:*smug*Looks like someone got lucky.....
*Chester pouts and looks at Steve*
Mike:*sighs*Ok, Chester, enough cuteness....
Chester:*whiny*But, I like being cute around you!*pouts again, stubborn*
Mike:*rolls his eyes*I get the point....*hugs Chester*
Steve:*sighs and shakes his head*Cone, the homicidal maniac, wants to see you two....
Chester:*suddenly angry*Let's kick his sorry ass!
Mike: Woah, calm down, Chester.
*Mike, Chester and Steve exit to where Cone is*
Cone:*smug*Look who crashed my little party...
Chester: Shut up!*kicks Cone in the groin, making him fall to the ground, moaning in pain, even though he's not really hurt*
*Chester picks up a paperweight from nowhere and hits Cone repeatedly with it*
Mike:*takes it away from Chester*That's enough...
Chester:*whiny*But, I wanna hurt him more!
*Mike sighs in exasperation*
*Cone gets up and glares at Chester*
Cone:*prophetically*You may have won this batttle but, you haven't won the war....
Chester:*flips him off*F**** YOU, YOU STUPID, SICK, DISTURBED PERV!!!!
*Cone covers his ears*
Cone:*mutters*Shut up, loudmouth...
Chester: I heard that....
Mike:*takes Chester's hand*Let's blow this joint....no pun intended...
*Mike and Chester leave the scene and the screen fades out*
NOTE-I'll get an end theme.....just give me time....
THIS IS A PRODUCTION OF ECCHINESS INC.*I'll rename it, don't worry*
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| The premier ep of "The Fall From Grace" |
| 06.01.04 (2:19 pm) [edit] |
NOTE-I don't own Sum 41 or Linkin Park, however, this is an alternate reality, so maybe I do own them*grins*well...this story is copyrighted to ME^_^If you want to flame me, go right ahead.....I'll make fun of it! MSTing my story is okay too.....just ask first, please. C &C welcome too! Oh yeah....
RATING: PG-13 for suggestive tones
On with the show!
Trinity:*smiles slightly*Hello again, M/C slash fans....this is the premiere of Fall From Grace-a drama about 5 guys living together with betrayal, romance, love trianges, angst, and more! Stay tuned, faithful viewers, for the second airing.
WARNING: IF YOU DON'T LIKE MALE/MALE COUPLES, THEN DON'T READ!!!! Thank you....
(The scene opens up to Chester playing Super Smash Bros. and cursing every time he loses. Mike enters.)
Mike:*is extremely depressed about something*Chester?...
(Chester turns around and sees his exprssion)
*Mike is tryign to hold himself together*
Chester:*concerned*What's wrong?
*Mike just shudders*
*Chester gets up and proceeds to embrace Mike, which makes him feel a little better*
*Then.....*
*Cone steps in.....-remember, my harem lives together-he sees those two and just stares*
Chester:*looks at Cone*What do you think you're looking at?
Cone:*sighs*Sorry, Chester.....I have to deliver the bad news on Mike....
*Chester stares in suprise*
*Mike looks up with eyes that say, 'don't you dare'*
*Just then Steve and Deryck walk in also....wondering why everyone's in here*
*Cone shakes his head in disappointment*
Chester:*anxious*Well, what the f**** is wrong?!
Cone:*sighs deeply*He's not even human....I figured that out yesterday....he's something called a Chimeara*-which is something of a vamp, shifter and something unknown to even me, I made it up in one of my stories-*
*Mike pulls away from Chester*
Mike:*edgy*Why?....
Cone: I also did some extensive research on this supossed(sp?) extinct race.....the Covens don't allow being in a relationship with a mortal and/or the same gender....he's an outcast of his own kind for more than that....*he smiles cynically at Mike*
*Mike shivers and trys to run out of the room; Chester stops him*
Cone:*continues*He also has an unknown virus....not like an STD....something else....something a lot more dangerous....He-*is cut off*
Chester:*angry*Will you shut up?! You didn't need to make it worse!
*Cone mock flinches*
*Mike is sitting on the couch, pale as a ghost....*
Mike:*softly*No, Cone....I have to tell him something more private...now get out of here...
*Cone grins maliciously and leaves, with Steve and Deryck*
*Chester sits down next to Mike*
Chester:*concerned*What is it?....
*Mike shudders again, violently*
Mike:*still softly*Well...I...I don't know....
*Chester hugs him and waits for him to continue*
Mike:*shakes his head*I....I got...I got d....by...by Cone....please, stop the pain...*Mike faints in his arms*
*Chester just holds him....then glares at the doorway*
*Cone steps back in, grinning*
Chester:*furious*WHY?!....What's wrong with you? *Chester let's go of Mike and lunges at Cone, who dodges him*
*Cone smirks and punches him in the stomach, making Chester gasp for air*
*Cone then hits hom with a heavy lamp, making Chester fall unconscience by Mike*
*Cone laughs manically and....*
*Chester manages to grab his leg, making Cone fall to the floor*
*Cone just smirks as he kicks Chester in the face, causing his nose to bleed. Chester groans and lets go of his leg and curses*
Chester:*mutters*Sick freak....hurting my best friend...you're just a sickass perv....
*Cone snorts at this and gets up. He brushes himself off casually*
The END.....for now......
-What will happen next?....Will Chester avenge Mike and discover how disturbed Cone REALLY is?.....-
See you next time. I'll always accept C & C and flames and compliments as well...I'm new to this^_^;;
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| here's a new fanfic series I made!*I'll explain, then send* |
| 06.01.04 (2:10 pm) [edit] |
Here's the synopsis of my new lemon slash fanfic series, "The Fall From Grace":
The Fall From Grace-Five guys live together but, not in perfect harmony.
The characters are from the two bands Linkin Park and Sum 41.
Characters-
Mike Shinoda
Chester Bennington
Deryck Whibley
Steve Jocz
Jayson McCauslin aka Cone
Some major elements in the series: Drama, Angst, Betrayal, Lost and Love, , Romance, Weirdness, OOCness and more!
The Theme song: "Crazy Train" by Ozzy Osbourne*I'll get the lyrics later*
What the characters ARE*this is an alternate universe type of thing*:
Mike: A Chimara-mix between a vamp, shifter and something unknown. He also has a dangerous virus that is unknown, currently.
Chester: A Mage underling-he's still learning necromancy and other magik dealing with .
Deryck: A rouge-he's not really anything yet....he's still figuring it out.
Steve: Shifter-all he can do right now is shift into different creatures....
Cone: Anti Hero-he's no hero, as the name implies......he's evil in so many ways....he's a powerful Warlock that is cruel but, can hide it very well by his cute appearance.
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| hello again! |
| 06.01.04 (11:31 am) [edit] |
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I need to vent some more....*mutters*Bush sucks.....he makes me sooo angry, sending soldiers where they don't belong.....all he wants is: war, war, war. Will this hell ever end?.....Another question: Do you support gay marriage?.....I think they should allow it in Michigan....that'd be cool....*punches the wall in anger*MI is way too close-minded about their uality, it's embarrassing. California is better......*sighs**plays some Quake 2 to get rid of the anger&
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| hello*waves*I'm new here! |
| 06.01.04 (11:10 am) [edit] |
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Well.....another stupid day at school.....they're teaing it up to make a new one*grumbles*Oh well.....life goes on :)
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